How Do You Program Your Mind? One of the most important and useful aspects of using NLP to master yourself and fine tune your technique is in the art of creating resource states. Resource states are states of mind that can be used to positively re-program your past, present and future.
One of the classic uses in NLP is for programming a state of confidence into your future. Most guys have had this experience of profound sense of confidence at some stage in their life. Maybe it only lasted a few seconds and was many years ago. This is fine. The beauty of this technique is that it allows one to capture that wonderful resource, create more of that state, and place it exactly where one desires!
The amount of different useful states of mind is vast and the fact is we hardly ever tap into these hidden resources. Some of the more useful resource states include; Confidence, Creativity, Relaxation, Playfulness, Concentration, Perseverance, Ecstasy.... etc etc.
Here's a couple of examples to clarify what I'm getting at:
Have you ever read a book that was really deep, like the book "THINK", that made you feel really inspired, fired up and motivated? In what capacity could you use that? How about programming that state into your workplace, your hobby, your sales pitch, dating techniques?
Now think - can you remember or imagine a time being in nature, surrounded by mellow shades of green, spotted shadows with gleams of sun, with soft sounds of birds in the distance and a close by stream. Where could you use that state of tranquility? Can you program your mind to recall that state in the future? Yes you can. Just like how we use binding to bind a prospects thoughts together and using kino to re-call this feeling, we can program ourselves with the same results.
And now to the actual technique. Treat yourself to 10 - 15 minutes to do this the first time. You will begin to notice that the more you PRACTICE the technique more you'll be able to achieve good results in less time....
NLP Technique: Program A Resource State Into A Future Situation
Think of a resource state you want more of in a future situation. (Joy, Ecstasy, Fun, Creativity, Confidence, Compassion etc.)
Relax down into a trance. (Use whatever way you want to go into a relaxed state. e.g. Deep breathing, self-hypnosis, meditation techniques.) The more relaxed you become the more powerful the rest of the exercise will be, so enjoy becoming more relaxed.
Remember a time you felt the chosen resource state strongly. Or imagine a situation in the future that would allow you to feel that resource state.
Fully internalize the experience and see what you saw at the time, hear what you heard and feel those feelings. Make the colors brighter, turn up the sounds and amplify the feelings. Anchor this feeling by squeezing your finger and thumb together.
Notice where those feelings are in your body. What color would you give these feelings? Imagine spreading that color/feeling up and down your body, amplifying the feelings. When the feelings are amplified, again squeeze your finger and thumb together to capture that feeling.
Break state. (Look around the room or remember your phone number etc.)
Test Anchor: Squeeze your finger and thumb together. If you've done the above steps correctly you should feel those feelings coming back.
Congratulate yourself (This is very powerful as it re-enforces the idea in your mind that you can do these exercises and they will become even easier to do!)
Here's a great tip they don't often tell you in NLP books. You can "double-up" and make a 'Super Resource State'? Go back to step one and stack another state on top of the first one. Squeeze the same finger and thumb together (Example: Confidence AND Relaxation). Great! Now you have programmed your mind to recall not only your confidence, but now you can espress your "confidence" and also be "relaxed" simultaneously.
Now think of a specific situation where this supreme resource state would be useful.
Imagine what you will see/hear just before you want this state to kick in. Example: Her profile as you approach her, her eyes as she turns to look at you, how she responds etc etc.
Now fire the resource anchor by squeezing your finger and thumb together whilst imagining being in the chosen situation, unfolding as you desire it too.
Wonderful! Now you can look forward to that future situation with alot more anticipation and excitement.
The technique you just learned can be used in tons of situations with the greatest outcome.
Each time you practice the technique with another resource state/situation you will condition your mind to make the procedure even easier next time...
Overcomming Your Fear: Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears in a quick and painless manner. In fact it can even become fun!
Did you know only two of all the fears you have are innate: The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Most of your fears were learned in early childhood and then in later life under stressful conditions.
So just how do fearful feelings occur then? Consider this: Fred wants very badly to talk to the hot sexy bunny that always occupy the seat the the reception desk for months. Finally he muster up some courage from his losy jelly back self to ask. Needles to say, he got cold feet and as he starts the walk down the corridor he starts to feel certain sensations (wimp sensations) in his body. Weird stomach feelings.
His breathing is constricted. Slight sweating in his palm and on parts of his body. His vision is effected.

Fred decides to turn back and then sits down feeling slightly annoyed with himself (classic jelly-back)
His body started producing 'fear chemicals.' What happened?
Well it was because he defied his Dad one time when he was four. Let's explore those forgotten memories....”
NO! NO! NO! Hell no! Let's do something alot smarter and definitely more fun.
Hey Fred come over here I want to show you something really cool! O' come on, pick your lip up.
You know how before you got up to go ask that girl out, you felt OK right? So between the time you got up and started walking something happened. Something triggered those feelings in you. Here's what happened: You either made a picture in your head or talked to yourself in a way that created those fearful (jelly-back) sensations and that happened at an unconscious level out of your awareness.
OK Blake that might be true but so what, what's your point?”
Well the point is by changing the internal sounds, pictures and voices in your head you can begin to gain control of your emotions.
Fair enough but how can I do that so when I'm in a similar situation I automatically make useful pictures, sounds and voices in my head so I remain in a resourceful state?
Good question, here's just one way you can achieve the results you want using a simple and powerful tool from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Soothing Movie Music:
Think of a situation where you feel fear.
Dissociate: See yourself in the situation like you would a movie with you in it.
Imagine running the memory from the END of the fearful situation, BACKWARDS to the START. Do this very fast in less then 1 second!
Think of some music that makes you feel the opposite of fear. For example soothing classical music makes you feel relaxed. Perhaps certain rock or dance music makes you feel energised/courageous etc.
Now hear the music, nice and loud, inside your mind whilst looking at yourself going through the situation from START to END.
Break state. Now think of the situation you choose in Step 1 and notice how your fearful feelings have diminished.
What will you see or hear just before you want this new feeling to set in?

Pre-suppositions or loaded sentences, are used subconciously by men and women the world over, yet has little or no effect or concequence. In order to be effective, presupposition must be used deliberately and methodically, with a specific outcome in mind. These "mind tricks" as they are sometimes dubbed, drastically make it easier for the girl to realize and make a decision as to what it is that she really wants (and then go with the flow:).
They shift attention from something (seemingly) unimportant as if it is a given or it has somehow already been agreed upon to the (seemingly) important as it needs yet to be decided upon.
In order to understand the "loaded" question and answer it ("would you like tea or coffee?") she has to accept the presupposition that accompanies the question ("before we go to my place":).
So for example, lets say you want to invite the girl over to your place. You definitely cannot say "soooo...do you want to go to my place?"....you're setting youself up for a negative response. Women love that! There is too much power put into her hands at this point! Now the has the power to say "YES" or "NO"! This is not what you want....so here is how you say it...."Sooo....would you like (something to drink) before (I take you home)?"
"Would you like (another coke / whiskey) before (I take you home / we go to your place / we go to my place)?"
If she answers "YES" to your question, which she will, subconciously, you're programming her subconcious to feel comfortable going to your house. Her subconcious is now getting used to the idea that, yes, I agreed to go to his place, and will find the rationale to justify going.
Presuppositions can also be used in ordinary sentences to help her decide… or rather, decide for her:) If you'd like to take a shower together with her after spending the night together, instead of asking "Wanna take a shower? How about something like "I'll ready the shower for us:)".
Here are a few more examples of how a simple sentence can help a girl sway towards the right decision:) or simply not leave her with much choice:) Use these to construct your own "decision-swayers".
Binds of comparable alternatives
"So do you want to meet together again tomorrow over lunch, or over coffee? (keep talking!) e.g. Either way, the most important thing is that we can carry on this conversation. Sound good to you?"
"So do you want to dance now, or wait until the next slow? (keep talking!) You're looking as if YOU CAN'T WAIT to dance now. Let's go!?" Cause & Effect
"You won't get the most out of the music just thinking about it, since the best way to experience it is to dance together."
"As you sit there, you can feel the pulsating music deep within you and you know you have to dance before the night is out. Come:)"
Resistance-breaking patterns
Two mini-patterns using time distortion, binds of comparable alternatives and humour to break a girl's resistance to getting together with you:
"Won't it be great AFTER we've gone out and laughed and felt really comfortable together? Then you can just look back at it all, smile that smile of satisfaction, and think to yourself: that was one of the best times, I've ever had!"
" I don't know if, when we go out, whether it will be a wonderfully fun adventure or just an incredibly enjoyable good time, but it sure will feel great to laugh and have fun that much, won't it?"
An example of using a combination of the above techniques and thought binding:
You: You know, I can tell you are a woman with great taste!
Her: How do you know?
You: Because you laugh at what I say. And the more you laugh, the more you'll recognise just how attractive you find that you want to laugh some more, and the more you'll look forward to being with someone just like that / the more you'll LOOK FORWARD to having the best time when we go out together.
Note: The presup above is used rarely in the NLP community however, it is very powerful since all the presuppositions are stacked together. This increases their weight and effectiveness. In this case 3 such presuppositions.
Her: (laughter)
You: See...just like that:)
You: Seriously...haven't you ever met someone, and you just knew you were going to like this person (point to yourself), cause you could just STOP, and IMAGINE BEING TOGETHER, feeling totally comfortable, and absolutely connected, for all the right reasons?
Her: Yeah
You: Well, see? So, as you think about it like that..." ...then just keep chatting, transition to IC pattern, whatever.
After Eliciting Her Values: After finding out what the girl likes to do, talk with the assumption that you're going to do it together: "Well, when we're doing [this and this] together, it would be nice if [something and something]"

Live by the rules or suffer the blues!
Law 1 Never reveal your intentions (Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defence.
Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realise your intentions, it will be too late:)
Law 2 Always say less than is necessary.
Law 3 Court attention at all costs
Law 4 Make other people come to you - use bait if necessary.
Law 5 Win through your actions, never through argument. (Any momentary triumph you win though argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change in opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you though your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.)
Law 6 Infection: Avoid the unhappy and unlucky (it works the other way also. This is an alternative take on social-proof, or pivots or whatever you want to call them, as well as wingmen. Also advice on not getting involved with the wrong girl.)
Law 7 Learn to keep people dependent on you.
Law 8 Use selective generosity to disarm your victim (One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Openhearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armour, you can deceive and manipulate at will:)
Law 9 When asking for help, appeal to people's self interest, never to their mercy or gratitude. Eg....before asking her on a date, make a case about people who don'`t go out anywhere to have any fun, and how boring and unappealing that is, ofcourse all the time making sure she agrees with you :)
Law 10 Pose as a friend, work as a spy.
Law 11 Use absence to increase respect and honour. (Again through mystery and not stuffing it up by staying too long and doing or saying something wrong.) Never supplicate!!
Law 12 Keep others in suspended terror: Cultivate an air of unpredictability.
Law 13 Do not build fortresses to protect yourself - Isolation is dangerous. (Get out there amongst them).
Law 14 Know who you are dealing with - do not offend the wrong person.
Law 15 Do not commit yourself to anyone.
Law 16 Play a sucker to catch a sucker - appear dumber than your mark. (Let her think that she is in control and smart, less naive, don't let on you are a player).
Law 17 Re-create yourself (Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you. Incorporate dynamic devices into your public gestures and actions - your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life).
Law 18 Keep your hands clean. (You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat' s-paws to disguise your involvement).
Law 19: Play on peoples need to believe to create a cult like following.
Law 20 Enter action with Boldness. (If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you make through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honours the timid).
Law 21 Plan all the way to the end.
Law 22 Make your accomplishments seem effortless. (Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that goes into them, also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work - it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you ...
Law 23 Control the options: Get others to play with the cards you deal. (The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favour whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of the dilemma: they are gored wherever they turn.
Law 24 Play to people's fantasies.
Law 25 Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one.
Law 26 Master the art of timing. (Never seem to be in a hurry - hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.)
Law 27 Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge.
Law 28 Create compelling spectacles. (Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power - everyone responds to them. Stage spectacles for those around you, then, full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols to heighten your presence. Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.)
Law 29 Despise the free Lunch.
Law 30 Work on the hearts and minds of others.
Law 31 Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect. (The mirror reflects reality, but is the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of the mirror effect.)
Law 32 Assume formlessness. (By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attact. Instead of taking a form for the girl to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water: never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.)

Power Closes are one of MOST IMPORTANT steps to getting laid. You can be superior at all the other steps and techniques, but if you can not close, and ask for a call to action (a date, a number, some time together right now, a kiss...etc) then there is no way you gonna get laid, except by luck ofcourse, lol.
The three steps to closing a chick are:
1. Recognising the Time to Close
2. Deciding on Your Closing Technique
3. Making the Closing Statement
The only way to recognize the time to close, you need to pay close attention to your prey. Needless to say, your value needs to have been created in her mind first. She must realize the irrisistable seductiveness, the smoothness, the desire, the warmth, the comfort and the magnetism. If you cannot show her, or create in her your value, you loose and there is no way she's going to ever see you as a potential sex partner or open her legs to you. When this happens learn from it and realize that the reason that happens is because YOU CLOSE TOO EARLY.
Another pitfall, guys, is to close too late. Some guys talk too much instead of closing the deal. You want to close while she's still excited and enthusiastic about your dress, your style, your smile, the way you hypnotize her with your patterns...whatever... you will be very disappointed if you dont, because now she has probably stopped giggling, the conversation is becomming awkward and she will definitely turn you down. Watch her state and see the opportunity. In fact the whole time you are with her you should be looking for that window of opportunity to close so you can get laid. Dont forget the reason youre even talking to her - recognize YOUR end value and keep it constantly in your mind. Closing (getting her number, getting her in bed etc) is the only reason you are there, [you pervert :)] and if you recognize your objective you will seek every oppotunity to close.
Your closing needs to be smooth, reassuring and delivered with confidence. This is not a time for Umms and Ahhs. Once you have decided top make the close, and you're confident about your technique, there are some considerations that you should understand so as to be successful:
1) Stay in your normal discussion mode and tone. Don't telegraph what you are going to do by a change in posture or tone of voice.
* Remember that you are asking for the order but don't pressure for a sale. Move slowly but deliberately to the next step in the process, if there is one.
* Don't discount the failure, (if you fail) learn from it and do better next time. Ask questions if the close fails to determine what went wrong and see if you can salvage the situation (the more high pressure the close you use, the more you are going to have to work to retrieve the situation).
Okay, here we go: The main reason women say "no" is a fear. They say "no" even if they want you to the point of getting wet. If she says "no," you have to create more value in yourself, or build up the required state and close again. In order to do this, you must have more than one close to use. Otherwise, they will leave and go fuck some other guy.
Straight-forward Close:Try to be as matter of fact and straightforward as possible. "I'd like to take you out sometime, can I have your home phone number?" will do just fine. If you want to be a little slicker, hand her a pen and a card and say, "Magic seven digits, please." That's a bit more inventive, and inventiveness never hurts.
THE TEASE: - With this close, you operate as if you absolutely knew the girl wanted to desperately sleep with you, but you are determined to hold out till the last possible minute and to enjoy teasing her all evening.
The Power of Suggestion Close: "Imagine us at the Starbucks coffee shop laughing together and having a good time, and later us being at home feeling that we had a really good time and you enjoyed yourself spending time together with me over coffee. Now when you think about what I am saying, and all those feelings that I am talking about, doesn't it just make sense that we go and have coffee together now?"
Do This: Lean into her as you talk as if you are about to kiss her. Then you MOVE AWAY. Get up and fix yourself a drink, or go to the bathroom. When you play with her mind like this, she won't know what to think. And when you put her in that state of mind, she's much more pliable and less likely to resist you.
A good tactic: is to wait until she says something funny, and then reach over and brush the side of her face with the OUTSIDE of your hand. Then say something like, "You're such a funny lady." Do this slowly and deliberately, looking in her eyes the whole time. Then PULL AWAY.
The Direct Close: (high risk, she could say "no", and now you have to prove her wrong.) The obvious and most frequently used close (mostly by supplicatorsd) is the direct approach of asking for the number. Once you are sure in your mind that you have done everything possible to overcome objections, and if you feel that shes still , go for it. "If we want to continue this conversation another time, I will need your phone number, here is my pen."
The Either Or Close: The more options you give someone, the better your chances to close."Our truck is in this area twice a week, do want delivery on Wednesday or Friday?" "Do you want this charged to your Visa or MasterCard?" "I'll be in your area this friday and saturday, which would be a better night for us to catch up and have coffee (remember to look straight into her eyes, dont blink)?" These choices require a commitment and "no" is not an option!
The Chain Hook: The chain hook close builds a chain of "yes's" to questions you ask to help lead her into saying yes to the close. To put her in the habit of saying yes, ask questions you're sure will get affirmative answers. EG. You're confident about who you are right? And confident people make confident decisions right (shaking your head yes)? Exactly. So im sure you would agree that for you...bla bla bla? etc etc whatever.
The Involved Close: This close gets her involved no matter how much she dont like to talk to strangers :) With it you can also find out if you are on the right path to the goods :) or if you need to change course.
The great thing about this close is that it dosent end all but instead tells you what direction to go.
A. "That make sense right?"
B. "How do you feel about this so far?"
C. "Is this what you want?"
D. "Can you see yourself experiencing these wonderful feelings?"
Here's how you end this: While you're talking, suddenly yawn, look at your watch, and say, "I'm feeling a little bushed. Let's call it an evening."
If you're at your place, you proceed like this: "C'mon. I'll drive you home." Make as if you're really getting to leave. As she stands up from the couch, take her in your arms, and kiss her passionately. It's the last thing she'll be expecting, and the unexpected has the best effect.

When we start the process of meeting women, the seeds that have long ago been inadvertently planted in your mind begin to surface. These can spell doom or success. Here's how to take back control. In Junior High, I knocked over a metal bar that guided the cafeteria line. As the divider clanged and echoed throughout the large room, a silence descended, waiting to see whether fight or flight was in order with such a large noise.
Neither was; once everyone realized what had happened, laughter came. Looking back, I now know that much of the laughter was just a release of momentary unwarranted panic – not all of it was REALLY about me.
But it sure felt that way. Everyone – EVERYONE – was looking at me cackling. Some were pointing. A few goofs were doing impressions in the back.
And, worst of all, one of the closest tables was full of cute girls from my class. Including the one I really liked. Being closer to the explosive aural pierce, they were amongst the heartiest laughers. The girl I liked was elbowing her friends and whispering while staring and snickering at me.
I ran out of there, devastated in the way Junior High Schoolers all are at one point or another.
For days, whenever I saw my crush in the hall or in class, my face reddened remembering the cafeteria. I grew scared of her presence. I avoided her, as well as all her cute friends.
Time went on, and I found myself having that scared embarrassed feeling triggered by any of the cute girls who saw me. Soon it was all cute girls. And soon I was a wreck around anyone I found attractive.
We all have different triggers, but an early experience of embarrassment plants a STRONG seed. That’s why naturals usually start out with success – they never had to deal with a bad seed startup.
Most of us do. And you know what? It’s the greatest cause for a man failing with a woman.
You always hear about how confidence is important, and it’s true. Expectations are an important factor in creating our reality, whether it’s because you preach what you practice in your head, or it’s because you willingly accept what you expect while you discount actions outside your vision of reality.
So confidence creates the right atmosphere for you to succeed. What’s more, instead of being a mere cog in the humdrum, confidence can inspire you to stand out, to break from the crowd, and – actually – to be more of who you really are (since you aren’t scared of personal flaws).
On the other hand, negative thoughts ruin you. Subconsciously or not, by believing in negativity you court it, you nurture it, you encourage situations that COULD play out poorly to, in fact, do so.
Nowhere is this more clear than with women.
You know something interesting I’ve found? When dealing with women, a situation with a high potential to go wrong – say she insults you, blows you off – actually leads to success MORE than a comfortable yet bland encounter does.
Why? If you have the CONFIDENCE to believe that things will turn out right, you don’t get nervous. You don’t get knocked off your game. You instead come right back at her in a cool witty way, and that confidence SHINES.
You look like a leader. A man who isn’t scared of the world and who’s comfortable in it.
You look damn sexy.
Great, you say, Thanks a lot Derek, confidence is good. Glad I spent the money on this book to find that out.
Hold on. I’m here to help, after all. Confidence is not something you’re born with, it’s a habit, as is negative thought.
And I can help you switch from one to the other.
First, I want you to catch your negative thinking as it happens. Picture yourself an observer of your mind. Any time you say something mean to yourself (and most people do this fairly regularly), stop yourself. Ask yourself why.
Don’t rationalize away your flaws – sometimes you’ll have done something wrong. But instead of beating yourself up, look at it as a learning experience. Instead of thinking of yourself as some broken human, see yourself as a work in progress. We all are. We all err.
The only thing to do about it is improve next time. Repeating how much you suck only hurts the situation.
Not to mention, it makes for boring conversation at parties.
If you catch yourself, STOP YOURSELF. If a girl rejects you, don’t think about all the things you can’t change and worry about that zit.
That shit don’t matter.
What matters is what you CAN change – and odds are, the zit has nothing on your behavior when it comes to women.
Don’t slap your bald spot – analyze your conversation and try to pinpoint where you lost her.
Take note of it in your attraction journal, the last page. Title that page “The Banishment Index” and create a nearby page you title “Fixin’ To Be Me.” After you’ve written down what went wrong in Banishment, go to Fixin’ and write down how it can go right. Leave space between entries for refinements as you test out your new thoughts, new lines, new theories.
Even if you aren’t getting the responses you want from your fixes, be cool with that. After all, you’re on the right track. You’re being proactive.
Now, we don’t just want to get rid of negative feelings, we want to foster positive ones.
So I’ve got an exercise for you. It may sound strange, but this is what professional athletes do to compete, so trust me, it’s very real.
First, create a calm and relaxed atmosphere, free of emotion. Set yourself aside from the world, and set aside a slot of time for this. You don’t want to be worrying about the dog’s walk.
Lots of people do this through simple breathing meditation – that is, watch your breathing. Just observe it going in and out of your body, how that feels. Count you breaths – from 1 to 10 and back again – until your mind is clear.
If you want, you can lie down and imagine your breath entering your entire body, blowing it up like a balloon, and every time you exhale, another body part relaxes: first your left foot, than your right, next your left lower leg and so on until your body is completely relaxed and free of tension.
Now, picture yourself in a situation with a girl. You should have thought about what it is before, but picture the conversation. Imagine it going extremely well. Imagine yourself getting the girl – however you’d most like to get her, do it.
Repeat.
This is how Greg Maddux and Randy Johnson pitch batters. This is how Barry Bonds hits home runs – the non-steroid ones, at least. You have to imagine yourself succeeding so you know what to do when you’re on the path.
Do this a lot. Do this with all different sorts of scenarios. If you’re having trouble letting go of negative situations in the past, imagine them turning out a completely different and positive way. Whenever the situation crops up, remember that you can and would handle it differently now.
If I knocked over the divider now, I’d do a small stand-up around it, sit down with the cute girls, and say “Congratulations ladies – you’re with the star.”
Don’t kid yourself – I didn’t do that; but I would now.
Really, the only thing standing between you and the hottest women in the world is your belief. If you don’t think you can get her, she’ll sense that and you won’t.
If you believe that you can – and indeed, you WILL, and she’ll be the lucky one – well, you won’t get them all, but you’d be surprised how often that simple switch works by itself.
It’ll take time before you can get yourself consistently confident – once you’ve broken through one barrier, you’ll probably stumble on the next. But you’ll be making constant PROGRESS, your confidence will continue to rise, until NO barrier seems insurmountable.
And none of them are. For anyone. Do I need to list the loser-like guys I know who are anything but losers with the ladies again?
Don’t make me do it.
Create your own movie, with you as the star, and watch as people treat you that way. You’ll establish mad social value as you cruise a room handling every situation deftly – and women will sniff that power like cats in heat.