Wingman: First of all lets clarify the term "wingman". A wingman is basically a close friend, aquaintance or relative with whom you would go out together with when prospecting women. He would have the same goal of meeting and seducing beautiful women and would have to know at least some of the strategies and techniques used. This is important, because you cannot be successful with your wingman unless he knows what he's doing. So the first thing you want to do is to show your wingman the ropes so to speak, and practice together.
Wingman Training: One of the best ways to train your wingman is to just go out there together and prospect women. Before you do that though, you want to give him the link to seducenow.com so he can study the articles on his own. He might want to start with our articles on confidence, openers, 3 second rule and eliciting values. Now i'm sure after reading the articles your wingman will be bucking to try out the new strategies. The next thing to do is to sit down and devise a signal or code, so that you both can use it during your conversation with the girl. There are two reasons why you want to have a common code. 1) To tell your wingman "lets go, shes a waste of time" and 2)To signal your wing man its ok for HIM to get her number.
Confidence Builder: You might be a very good talker and can talk any woman out of her pants, but you probably dont have the confidence when you do an initial approach. This is where your wingman can come in handy. It makes a big difference when you know you have a "backup", someone who can back you up when you say something wrong, or you find yourself lost for words. And think about scenario's where a woman will act rude to the point of walking away from you, or even try to insult you. With your wingman, you can do a number of things in response. You can both laugh at her, (to bring your ego back up), say something smart, or outright insult HER! Dont be afaid to tell a woman off, if she tries to embarrass or belittle you. You're a MAN with an ego and you shouldnt let anyone step on you and crush you like a little boy. See my neghits article on this.
Two On One: The two on one method cannot be performed without your wingman, ofcourse. What it consists of is a constant bombardment of your prey to the point of confusion and admiration. So for example lets say you approach a woman with a serious look. First thing you want to do is to make her smile. This colapses their defences and lets you right in.
So you say to her: "hmmmmm, romeo must have done it this time, always screwing up right (with a smile). What did he do this time?". That is sure to get a smile from her.
Then your wingman would come in and say something to rub it in like: "I think he hurt her really bad".
Her: "How do you know?"
Wingman: "I can see it in your eyes".
You: (jump right in) The eyes never lie! Let me ask you this though...bla bla bla
And the both of you just keep going at it back and forth with her until you develop that intense rapport with her. At this point you both should know which one of you she's most attracted to. Now the way I do it with my wingman is we play it by situation. If I feel like he should have a particular girl then I would use the secret signal and he would know to go for the digits. And he would do the same.
Conflicting Complements: Confilcting complements can work wonders when youre working with your wingman as long as you do it after you have established some good rapport with her. For one, she dosent know what to believe which is ok since it confuses her. So how do you make a confilcting comment. You do it with the help of your wingman. So if you complement her style of dress, with words such as: "I like the way your hairstyle complements your features (guys note the vagueness of that statement)"... your wingman would come ( with a smile ofcourse) and say something like: No it dosent! I dont think it complements her style". Now she might resent your wingman a bit, but it dosen't matter, because she's now drawing a wide chasm between both of you and shes comparing your wingman to you who was comparably sweet. This inivitably makes you more attractive and increases your chances for your # close. See article on closing.
Wingman Pressure Close: Sometimes your wingman can be the essential element in zeroing in on the close. And if he's atune to how the conversation is progressing (or regressing lol) he might do whats called a "pressure close" so you can do the close, get the digits and be out. What your wingman would do is get himself distracted by talking to another chick, looking at sneakers in a store nearby, talking on the phone...whatever. He just want to be away from the conversation for at least 5 minutes. Then he would come back in a hurry,looking at his watch until he says, Listen John, rememner we have to be at (wherever) at 6..why dont you just get her number and call her later. He just pressured him to do the close....so it now seem like he have to go so ofcourse he would need the number in order to continue the conversation later. The other benefit to this is, if she was really enjoying the interaction and she found him irristable and interesting, she would begin to feel she would be missing out on such a great guy. So the wingman "pressure close" would pressure her too.
Confirmation: One way to solidify what you say to anyone is to use third party. We do it everyday without even thinking. How many times we would say something, and to proof our argument we would turn to our friend, neighbor, whoever, and say...right Jane? ...right Paul? It brings credence and validity to our argument. Same strategy can be used when talking to women. You say something....dosen't even have to be something important. You could be telling her of a really romantic spot, by the river, overlooking the park, and its really close...but she seem to not believe. All you do is use your third party. Use your wingman to validate your statement. Remember, third party is always better than 1st party. Use your wingman.
Win by Mastering the Art of Seduction
Thursday, November 10, 2005, 04:09 PM [The Arts of Seduction]
Throughout life, we are confronted with barriers. In our culture, we acquire through parental upbringing, schooling, our peers as well as the media the two ways of dealing with barriers. We either struggle to overcome those barriers or give up. However, success requires transforming barriers into benefits. The art of Seduction is geared to win or influence another’s point of view to the seducer’s pleasure. Seduction has lead men astray from their principles and induced temptations of sex: Delilah’s sex appeal over Samson or Cleopatra’s over Marc Antony. Modern historians credit the art of Seduction to the success of Hillary Rodham Clinton in winning over the people of New York.
The art of Seduction offers dynamic appeals, teasing, withdrawing, and a charming demeanor mirroring allure and enchantment. Seduction is flirtatious and frequently erotic in relational performances. Methods of seduction include revealing photographs, sexy lingeries, or a mere purposeful act or movement that entails incredible charm and precision. Modern science in magnetic techniques exudes charisma to the amateur Seducer.
There are the Kama Sutra, Greek Mythology, Tao te Ching, a scented perfume and even just plain therapeutic humor. Hypnosis is a popular method in the art of Seduction defined as “a narrowing focus of attention or resonating with the anti-suggestive barrier of the mind” (Hogan, 2004). Hypnotic seduction is about smooth talking to captivate attention while suggesting a course of action that will be followed. Hypnotic seduction is exciting and intoxicating!
Often seduction was associated with coquetry, the bar scene, and sexual adventurism. Traditionalists leered over the seductress's threat to masculine privilege, societal norms, and essentialist notions of female etiquette. While the art of Seduction is practiced by both men and women of today, the oppressive western rationalism of the past had resisted and even disciplined its expression. Seduction is promoted by liberationist and represents an expression of managed desire, a display of female power as well as an arena of freedom built on a dialect of consent and refusal.
The art of Seduction is the empowerment primarily exploited by women to create and re-create themselves in society's eyes. Recovering the seductive arts as a means of addressing women's issues is an ideologically bold proposition. “The Last Seduction”, a 1994 movie that portrayed the baddest of the bad women successfully attempted that notion. The steamy movie has been haled as the most full-blown yet utterly believable femme fatale to come along in years. As Bridget, the nasty lady from the big city, actress Linda Florentino plays “the kind of woman who will spend the night with a guy and go into the kitchen the next morning and put out her cigarette in his grandma's apple pie” (LaSalle, 1995). Her power derives from everyone else's inability to believe any human being can be that rotten. The best part was sensing the fact that the movie will not be twisted into the conformity of some expected formula. Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times hales the movie: "The Last Seduction is not only ingenious and entertaining, but liberating“(Ebert, 1994). The art of Seduction theory flaunts modernity.
Finally, the major feature of seduction is the illusion or delusion of reality, producing a sort of flickering, hypnotic state of mind that mesmerizes attention outside rationality. Seductive teasing signals a longed-for decision or anticipated course of action that remains in question. The seduction becomes desired and perceived as a predicator for a future. The teasing evokes potential outcomes in the imagination and acknowledges a pre-conceived positive future.The experience of being captivated is an ecstatic state of wonderment, exhilaration, joy and even orgasmic! The enabling tension between absence and presence, desire and fulfillment as well as anticipation and closure helps negotiate a seductive attractiveness. The seductive sweeps the listener off his or her feet which fosters abandonment and celebration of the moment to open the listener to vulnerability and control.
To grow spiritually we must experience and know, or be a slave to other people’s opinions and doctrine. As the 21st century unfolds, the time has come for us to recognize our true potential and to explore beyond the prevailing beliefs and convictions. The benefits of such an out-of-body experience that extend far beyond the limits of our physical senses and our intellect.
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Triggering Automatic Female Lust
Thursday, November 10, 2005, 04:08 PM [The Arts of Seduction]
Contrary to what you see every week on 'Sex and the City', women are the complete opposite of men in that, the more *anonymous* the sexual encounter, the LESS gratifying they find it to be. Unlike the fictional uber-slut Miranda, satisfying sex does not begin and end with the quest to find someone new to have an orgasm with. For the vast majority of women, the MORE connected they feel to their partner, the more overwhelming the total sexual experience is for them.
Just the reverse of typical male thinking, right? Men are intensely turned on by the thought of having sex with a woman for that very FIRST time, or by scoring a one-night stand with a perfect stranger, or perhaps fantasizing about being in a porno movie and having wanton sex with dozens of hot women he hardly knows. The common link between all these scenarios is that there is NO emotional bonding involved. Hell, there's hardly even an exchange of names! For the man, the more anonymous the sex the more *exciting* the idea of the conquest.
How the two genders make use of (and even exploit) this knowledge of each other's romantic weakness, however, is an entirely DIFFERENT story.
Women know exactly how to turn men on by manipulating this hardwired 'quirk' in their character that absolves them of the need to actually know anything about a woman who has triggered his desire to mate. How? Simply by pushing this uniquely male "anonymous sex" button long and often... by acting sexy AND remaining emotionally aloof at the same time. The stripper, the table dancer, the whore. The molten hot stranger. Any persona will do -- and all are quite useful when their design is seduction!
Men, on the other hand, seem mostly clueless about how to turn the tables and pull off the same trick. In fact, the prevailing feeling is that female lust is such a mysterious and unfathomable 'holy grail' so rarely encountered in real life that it's taken on a kind of mythical quality. I guess some women just have it for certain men... and not for others, and there's no understanding the reasons why.
But can female lust be triggered by the deliberate actions of a man? I say absolutely yes. Women get sexually turned on just as men do of course, but -- owing to differences in reproductive biology -- by a completely different set of mental processes. Men go for a VISUAL look that suggests youthfulness and thus fertility. But females aren't interested in a man's age so much because males remain virile well into the later part of their lifespan.
What they look for, instead, are signs of male POWER.
You see, women possess a deeply-rooted pre-intellectual *instinct* which compels them to submit themselves for copulation in the presence of what they sense to be a DOMINANT MALE. They cannot help feeling like this -- despite the fact that the modern woman manages to suppress the urge to act on these feelings most of the time (but, not always...). So when a man learns how to project the most subtlest of gestures, actions and attitudes that suggest he's a "dominant male", he can force a woman's subconscious mating desires to become aroused WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT.
And some of them won't like it a bit. She may get upset because you've forced her to experience a potent feeling which she may feel compelled to conceal with the workings of her more rational mind. And yet when a woman consents to have sex with a man who has set off these automatic desires in her, she stands to enter into the hottest, most fulfilling sensual experience that it is possible for her to have. And she knows it.
...AND she's also frightened of it -- because once unleashed in this way, it can be difficult to stem the cascade of all-consuming passion. She risks taking the kind of social and romantic chance that only happens a precious few times in her life. Can she allow herself to become addicted to a man who can make her see stars?
By learning to adopt the actions and attitudes of the dominant male, it is possible to create these sort of emotional disturbances in women at will. Almost any girl that you can manage to talk to in a SPECIFIC sort of way can have her "lust triggers" ignited like a blow torch. And when the ability to seduce becomes more a skill than mere luck, your chances of suffering the humiliation of being rejected vanish too. Now you have done more than learned to act the part of a dominant male, you have *become* one. And truthfully, there's no real difference.
Because in this game, acting is BEING.
Just the reverse of typical male thinking, right? Men are intensely turned on by the thought of having sex with a woman for that very FIRST time, or by scoring a one-night stand with a perfect stranger, or perhaps fantasizing about being in a porno movie and having wanton sex with dozens of hot women he hardly knows. The common link between all these scenarios is that there is NO emotional bonding involved. Hell, there's hardly even an exchange of names! For the man, the more anonymous the sex the more *exciting* the idea of the conquest.
How the two genders make use of (and even exploit) this knowledge of each other's romantic weakness, however, is an entirely DIFFERENT story.
Women know exactly how to turn men on by manipulating this hardwired 'quirk' in their character that absolves them of the need to actually know anything about a woman who has triggered his desire to mate. How? Simply by pushing this uniquely male "anonymous sex" button long and often... by acting sexy AND remaining emotionally aloof at the same time. The stripper, the table dancer, the whore. The molten hot stranger. Any persona will do -- and all are quite useful when their design is seduction!
Men, on the other hand, seem mostly clueless about how to turn the tables and pull off the same trick. In fact, the prevailing feeling is that female lust is such a mysterious and unfathomable 'holy grail' so rarely encountered in real life that it's taken on a kind of mythical quality. I guess some women just have it for certain men... and not for others, and there's no understanding the reasons why.
But can female lust be triggered by the deliberate actions of a man? I say absolutely yes. Women get sexually turned on just as men do of course, but -- owing to differences in reproductive biology -- by a completely different set of mental processes. Men go for a VISUAL look that suggests youthfulness and thus fertility. But females aren't interested in a man's age so much because males remain virile well into the later part of their lifespan.
What they look for, instead, are signs of male POWER.
You see, women possess a deeply-rooted pre-intellectual *instinct* which compels them to submit themselves for copulation in the presence of what they sense to be a DOMINANT MALE. They cannot help feeling like this -- despite the fact that the modern woman manages to suppress the urge to act on these feelings most of the time (but, not always...). So when a man learns how to project the most subtlest of gestures, actions and attitudes that suggest he's a "dominant male", he can force a woman's subconscious mating desires to become aroused WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT.
And some of them won't like it a bit. She may get upset because you've forced her to experience a potent feeling which she may feel compelled to conceal with the workings of her more rational mind. And yet when a woman consents to have sex with a man who has set off these automatic desires in her, she stands to enter into the hottest, most fulfilling sensual experience that it is possible for her to have. And she knows it.
...AND she's also frightened of it -- because once unleashed in this way, it can be difficult to stem the cascade of all-consuming passion. She risks taking the kind of social and romantic chance that only happens a precious few times in her life. Can she allow herself to become addicted to a man who can make her see stars?
By learning to adopt the actions and attitudes of the dominant male, it is possible to create these sort of emotional disturbances in women at will. Almost any girl that you can manage to talk to in a SPECIFIC sort of way can have her "lust triggers" ignited like a blow torch. And when the ability to seduce becomes more a skill than mere luck, your chances of suffering the humiliation of being rejected vanish too. Now you have done more than learned to act the part of a dominant male, you have *become* one. And truthfully, there's no real difference.
Because in this game, acting is BEING.
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Tips for better love making - The top 5 erogenous
Thursday, November 10, 2005, 04:07 PM [The Arts of Seduction]
If you're floundering in the bedroom and your girlfriend is moaning for all the wrong reasons, these tips will point you in the right direction.
Gentlemen! If you want to get your girl moaning for real instead of faking it, you're going to have to put a bit of work in. Firstly, a male can achieve orgasm within 2 - 3 minutes when stimulated by another partner. Where as a female can take up to 15 minutes to climax.
If you know for a fact that you can't keep going for that long by pure intercourse alone (and lets face it, if you're doing that, you're having sex, not making love) then you are going to have to stimulate her body with foreplay instead.
Now before you panic and freak out, all of this can be done with your tongue and hands. I guarantee you will become a better lover in the bedroom AND you really will give her orgasm after orgasm.
The top 5 female erogenous zones
The neck
Apart from being sexy and attractive, the female neck is perhaps one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Softly kissing this area from her shoulder to below her ear (while at the same time massaging it with your tongue will send tingles and pulses up and down her spine. Keep at it and she will be breathing heavily in a very short period of time.
The ear lobes
Sucking ear lobes isn't for everyone. Some girls get the tickles when you do it but others simply adore it. While you're there you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact is what she likes so this is a good way to do it if you're fed up with kissing on the lips. Also massaging her ear lobes with your fingers from time to time can be very soothing.
The nipples
On a par with the neck for sensitivity, the female nipples become hard and sit up right when stimulated with your tongue. Don't forget to give both breasts even attention and also kiss down in between her breasts as you work your way between both of them. If she hasn't grabbed your head by this stage and held it into her bosom, something's badly wrong.
The belly button
Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her G spot.
The G Spot
Ah the G spot. This holy grail legend of the female anatomy can be tricky to find. So if the chance arises, ask her if she has already found her G spot and let her point you in the right direction.
As a general guide, most female G spots can be found on the roof of the vagina (that's the side closest to her stomach.). It's about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin and can be found about 4 inches in.
Extreme caution should be taken when stimulating this area with your tongue or fingers as a female can quite literally lose control of her limbs. Don't be surprised if you get kneed in the face or get elbowed as she moans in ecstasy. It should also be noted that not all females have a G spot, so don't be alarmed if you both can't find it. As you have seen there are plenty of other areas of the female body that can be stimulated in the art of love making in order to help her climax.
Doing a combination of all these things will leave her begging for more and you will be a better lover for it. Experimentation is the key to find out what works and what doesn't as everyone is not the same.
As you can see, a true female orgasm involves the stimulation of her whole body and not just simple penetration. Taking the time to show care and attention to her needs will put you so far above any other lovers, she may have had that you may find it tricky escaping from the bed. I know I have ;-)
I hope this article helps your love life get back on track and that you become better and more confident at making love and not just having sex. Above all else, if you want to become a better lover, ask your partner what they like and what they want you to do to them. Not only will you help them get their rocks off quicker, you'll also show that you are thinking about their needs and they in turn will think about yours. This will create a much better experience than if both parties are concentrating on what each can get out of the experience in a very selfish way.
Until next time.
Gentlemen! If you want to get your girl moaning for real instead of faking it, you're going to have to put a bit of work in. Firstly, a male can achieve orgasm within 2 - 3 minutes when stimulated by another partner. Where as a female can take up to 15 minutes to climax.
If you know for a fact that you can't keep going for that long by pure intercourse alone (and lets face it, if you're doing that, you're having sex, not making love) then you are going to have to stimulate her body with foreplay instead.
Now before you panic and freak out, all of this can be done with your tongue and hands. I guarantee you will become a better lover in the bedroom AND you really will give her orgasm after orgasm.
The top 5 female erogenous zones
The neck
Apart from being sexy and attractive, the female neck is perhaps one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Softly kissing this area from her shoulder to below her ear (while at the same time massaging it with your tongue will send tingles and pulses up and down her spine. Keep at it and she will be breathing heavily in a very short period of time.
The ear lobes
Sucking ear lobes isn't for everyone. Some girls get the tickles when you do it but others simply adore it. While you're there you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact is what she likes so this is a good way to do it if you're fed up with kissing on the lips. Also massaging her ear lobes with your fingers from time to time can be very soothing.
The nipples
On a par with the neck for sensitivity, the female nipples become hard and sit up right when stimulated with your tongue. Don't forget to give both breasts even attention and also kiss down in between her breasts as you work your way between both of them. If she hasn't grabbed your head by this stage and held it into her bosom, something's badly wrong.
The belly button
Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her G spot.
The G Spot
Ah the G spot. This holy grail legend of the female anatomy can be tricky to find. So if the chance arises, ask her if she has already found her G spot and let her point you in the right direction.
As a general guide, most female G spots can be found on the roof of the vagina (that's the side closest to her stomach.). It's about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin and can be found about 4 inches in.
Extreme caution should be taken when stimulating this area with your tongue or fingers as a female can quite literally lose control of her limbs. Don't be surprised if you get kneed in the face or get elbowed as she moans in ecstasy. It should also be noted that not all females have a G spot, so don't be alarmed if you both can't find it. As you have seen there are plenty of other areas of the female body that can be stimulated in the art of love making in order to help her climax.
Doing a combination of all these things will leave her begging for more and you will be a better lover for it. Experimentation is the key to find out what works and what doesn't as everyone is not the same.
As you can see, a true female orgasm involves the stimulation of her whole body and not just simple penetration. Taking the time to show care and attention to her needs will put you so far above any other lovers, she may have had that you may find it tricky escaping from the bed. I know I have ;-)
I hope this article helps your love life get back on track and that you become better and more confident at making love and not just having sex. Above all else, if you want to become a better lover, ask your partner what they like and what they want you to do to them. Not only will you help them get their rocks off quicker, you'll also show that you are thinking about their needs and they in turn will think about yours. This will create a much better experience than if both parties are concentrating on what each can get out of the experience in a very selfish way.
Until next time.
Tags:
The Kiss Of Death
Thursday, November 10, 2005, 04:06 PM [The Arts of Seduction]
You've met the most incredible girl. You don't really know her, but you're pretty sure she's a Goddess, sent straight from Heaven, in jeans. You exchanged glances in Chemistry, had a few brief conversations after class, and even bumped into her at the mall. (Talk about fate.)
You KNOW you want her. There's no doubt about it. The question now becomes, "Does she want you?" She smiles at you... but is it a friendly or a flirtatious smile? You saw her leave with another guy after class... was he her boyfriend? She flirted with you last week, even touched your shoulder... then completely ignored you the other day. Does she like you? How can you tell? You really need to know this before you begin the "pursuit" don't you?
Perhaps the most common question posed on the Don Juan Discussion Forum concerns "reading women" and trying to figure out whether they like you or not. The poster usually describes his situation, what he did, what she did, and then asks, "Does this mean she likes me?" Or, "Does this mean she doesn't like me?"
Definitely a popular question. Definitely a question in need of an answer.
THE ANSWER -- Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the DON JUAN KISS OF DEATH!
If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually push her away.
Let me clarify.
When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result.
This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Blithering Blobs of Insecurity.
So are you wrong to be confused by women? NO! Absolutely NO! Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are. Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors. One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the next she seems to be unaware of your existence. One minute she's flirting, and smiling, and rubbing up against you, and the next minute she's gone, left without even saying "bye." You SHOULD be frustrated and confused!
Now, no one knows exactly why women give off such mixed signals and deliberately, it seems, attempt to confuse us. Some suspect it's those magazines they read. Others think it has to do with the secret bathroom conferences they hold. Still others propose that their illogical behaviors are due to the wacky hormones they have surging throughout their bodies. The cause is relatively unimportant. You just have to accept it, and plot your strategy to deal with it.
(I'm sure quite a few women are reading this and thinking that men are the same way - completely inconsistent and confusing. That may be true. But, hey, this isn't The Donna Juana Newsletter.)
So, given the inconsistencies of female romantic behavior, attempting to "read" women and figure out what they're thinking, is, at best, an incredibly frustrating experience. So don't do it. Don't even attempt it.
Just say NO to "reading" women!
Okay... well... if you don't really try to "read" women to determine whether they like you or not, then what do you do? What's your strategy? After all, they may be confusing, illogical, and somewhat annoying, but you still wanna get you one.
Simple: If you're attracted to a girl, then just ASSUME she's attracted to you too. And ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Assume that she likes you and would like to get to know you better. Assume that she's physically attracted to you. Assume that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to attract such a lady, no matter how incredible she seems. Assume the positive... always the positive. Assuming the negative will kill any chances you might have with her. (Pessimists, my friend, are not "chick magnets.")
Now there are many exciting benefits of adopting this attitude of assuming that women you like also like you... and treating them accordingly.
For one, if you refuse to obsess about all the little "signs" she's giving you, whether they be good signs or bad signs, you will feel more relaxed, calm, and confident. You won't be "up" one minute because she smiled at you, and "down" the next because she also smiled at some other guy. Attempting to "read" her will only lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. And this will make you more tense when she's around, and thus, less likely to be the charming, charismatic Don Juan that you'd like to be.
And you won't be wasting your time trying to figure out what she's thinking... trying to figure out what every little move means... and where you stand. You'll be able to devote your "mental time" to something more useful and productive.
Secondly, if you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the probability that she eventually WILL like you. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and is a well-documented phenomenon in psychological research.
Basically what this means is that if you have a "she likes me" attitude, then you'll project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll pick up on these and, duh, like you. If, on the other hand, you have a "she doesn't like me" attitude, you'll project negative, pessimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll, likewise, pick up on these and like you less. And if you have a "does she like me" attitude, then you'll project tense, anxiety-ridden behaviors and thoughts that will decrease the probability of her liking you... or she may even find being around you to be an "uncomfortable" experience. (Isn't it easier to relax around people who are relaxed themselves?)
And third, the attitude of just assuming that she likes you, rather than worrying about whether she does or not, allows you to maintain control of the situation... and yourself. If you are obsessing about the "signs" and allow the "signs" to control your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, then you have basically given her complete control of the situation. And complete control over you. If she's "good" to you, you're happy. If she's "bad" to you, you're sad. If she wants to encourage you, she can throw out a few positive signals. If she wants to discourage you, she can throw out a few negative signals. You're happiness is basically under her control... whether she knows it or not. Not the position that a "Don Juan" likes to be in.
However, if you just assume that she likes you and treat her accordingly, and refuse to be controlled by all the little signs (especially the bad ones), you take charge of the situation. You have decided that you like her. And you have decided that she likes you... or will like you when she gets to know you better. And you act accordingly. You exude confidence. You're relaxed. And you project that "aura" that every budding Don Juan searches for. (The poor girl won't stand a chance up against that aura.)
Okay, so you agree that obsessing about a particular girl and whether or not she likes you is not in your best interest. It will turn you into a Blithering Blob of Insecurity, decrease the probability that she will like you, and give her complete control over your happiness. So what do you do when those thoughts start to take over your mind? I mean, after all, she is a Goddess, right?
Here's one simple little mental trick that might help you. Whenever the obsessive "does she like me" thoughts start to take over your mind, even if they're the "good" ones, mentally grab them with your hands, throw them down on the floor, and step on them. Then remind yourself that obsessing about her is not in your best interest, that it will suck away your confidence, and actually decrease the probability that you'll eventually get her. At this point you want to take a deep breath... smile... laugh... and think to yourself, "I should send that Allen guy a few bucks."
You KNOW you want her. There's no doubt about it. The question now becomes, "Does she want you?" She smiles at you... but is it a friendly or a flirtatious smile? You saw her leave with another guy after class... was he her boyfriend? She flirted with you last week, even touched your shoulder... then completely ignored you the other day. Does she like you? How can you tell? You really need to know this before you begin the "pursuit" don't you?
Perhaps the most common question posed on the Don Juan Discussion Forum concerns "reading women" and trying to figure out whether they like you or not. The poster usually describes his situation, what he did, what she did, and then asks, "Does this mean she likes me?" Or, "Does this mean she doesn't like me?"
Definitely a popular question. Definitely a question in need of an answer.
THE ANSWER -- Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the DON JUAN KISS OF DEATH!
If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually push her away.
Let me clarify.
When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result.
This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Blithering Blobs of Insecurity.
So are you wrong to be confused by women? NO! Absolutely NO! Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are. Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors. One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the next she seems to be unaware of your existence. One minute she's flirting, and smiling, and rubbing up against you, and the next minute she's gone, left without even saying "bye." You SHOULD be frustrated and confused!
Now, no one knows exactly why women give off such mixed signals and deliberately, it seems, attempt to confuse us. Some suspect it's those magazines they read. Others think it has to do with the secret bathroom conferences they hold. Still others propose that their illogical behaviors are due to the wacky hormones they have surging throughout their bodies. The cause is relatively unimportant. You just have to accept it, and plot your strategy to deal with it.
(I'm sure quite a few women are reading this and thinking that men are the same way - completely inconsistent and confusing. That may be true. But, hey, this isn't The Donna Juana Newsletter.)
So, given the inconsistencies of female romantic behavior, attempting to "read" women and figure out what they're thinking, is, at best, an incredibly frustrating experience. So don't do it. Don't even attempt it.
Just say NO to "reading" women!
Okay... well... if you don't really try to "read" women to determine whether they like you or not, then what do you do? What's your strategy? After all, they may be confusing, illogical, and somewhat annoying, but you still wanna get you one.
Simple: If you're attracted to a girl, then just ASSUME she's attracted to you too. And ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Assume that she likes you and would like to get to know you better. Assume that she's physically attracted to you. Assume that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to attract such a lady, no matter how incredible she seems. Assume the positive... always the positive. Assuming the negative will kill any chances you might have with her. (Pessimists, my friend, are not "chick magnets.")
Now there are many exciting benefits of adopting this attitude of assuming that women you like also like you... and treating them accordingly.
For one, if you refuse to obsess about all the little "signs" she's giving you, whether they be good signs or bad signs, you will feel more relaxed, calm, and confident. You won't be "up" one minute because she smiled at you, and "down" the next because she also smiled at some other guy. Attempting to "read" her will only lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. And this will make you more tense when she's around, and thus, less likely to be the charming, charismatic Don Juan that you'd like to be.
And you won't be wasting your time trying to figure out what she's thinking... trying to figure out what every little move means... and where you stand. You'll be able to devote your "mental time" to something more useful and productive.
Secondly, if you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the probability that she eventually WILL like you. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and is a well-documented phenomenon in psychological research.
Basically what this means is that if you have a "she likes me" attitude, then you'll project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll pick up on these and, duh, like you. If, on the other hand, you have a "she doesn't like me" attitude, you'll project negative, pessimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll, likewise, pick up on these and like you less. And if you have a "does she like me" attitude, then you'll project tense, anxiety-ridden behaviors and thoughts that will decrease the probability of her liking you... or she may even find being around you to be an "uncomfortable" experience. (Isn't it easier to relax around people who are relaxed themselves?)
And third, the attitude of just assuming that she likes you, rather than worrying about whether she does or not, allows you to maintain control of the situation... and yourself. If you are obsessing about the "signs" and allow the "signs" to control your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, then you have basically given her complete control of the situation. And complete control over you. If she's "good" to you, you're happy. If she's "bad" to you, you're sad. If she wants to encourage you, she can throw out a few positive signals. If she wants to discourage you, she can throw out a few negative signals. You're happiness is basically under her control... whether she knows it or not. Not the position that a "Don Juan" likes to be in.
However, if you just assume that she likes you and treat her accordingly, and refuse to be controlled by all the little signs (especially the bad ones), you take charge of the situation. You have decided that you like her. And you have decided that she likes you... or will like you when she gets to know you better. And you act accordingly. You exude confidence. You're relaxed. And you project that "aura" that every budding Don Juan searches for. (The poor girl won't stand a chance up against that aura.)
Okay, so you agree that obsessing about a particular girl and whether or not she likes you is not in your best interest. It will turn you into a Blithering Blob of Insecurity, decrease the probability that she will like you, and give her complete control over your happiness. So what do you do when those thoughts start to take over your mind? I mean, after all, she is a Goddess, right?
Here's one simple little mental trick that might help you. Whenever the obsessive "does she like me" thoughts start to take over your mind, even if they're the "good" ones, mentally grab them with your hands, throw them down on the floor, and step on them. Then remind yourself that obsessing about her is not in your best interest, that it will suck away your confidence, and actually decrease the probability that you'll eventually get her. At this point you want to take a deep breath... smile... laugh... and think to yourself, "I should send that Allen guy a few bucks."
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